Pain During Sex: Could It Be Vaginismus?

Is intercourse painful? Feels like hitting a wall making penetration impossible? Pain after sex? 

Perhaps you suffer from vaginismus.

vaginismus pain during sex


If you ever experience discomfort or feel like you're hitting a wall during penetrative intercourse, there's a possibility that you might be dealing with a condition called vaginismus. But don't worry; I’m here to shed some light on this and offer guidance on what you can do about it.

Understanding Vaginismus:

So, vaginismus is when your pelvic floor muscles involuntarily tighten up, especially the ones around your vagina. These spasms can make penetration painful or even seemingly impossible. The important thing to remember is that vaginismus isn't caused by anything physically abnormal; it's more of an automatic reflex response by your body.

Recognising the Symptoms:

If you feel like you're hitting a wall or encountering an impenetrable force during penetration, that's a classic symptom of vaginismus. But it doesn't stop there. Other signs may include a burning or stinging sensation, difficulty inserting tampons or undergoing gynaecological exams, and even anxiety or fear about sex due to anticipated pain.

Possible Causes:

Now, let's talk about the potential causes of vaginismus. It can vary from person to person, but here are a few common factors:

Anxiety or fear related to sex: Past negative experiences or cultural beliefs can contribute to feeling anxious or scared about sexual activity.

Traumatic events: If you've experienced sexual abuse or had traumatic childbirth experiences, it can impact how your body responds during sex.

Stress and relationship difficulties: High levels of stress or problems within a relationship can affect your sexual well-being.

Limited sexual education: Sometimes, a lack of accurate information about sex and misconceptions can create fear and a distorted view of what's normal.


Seeking Treatment:

I want you to know that there's hope! Vaginismus can be successfully treated! Why do I know that? Because I’ve suffered from vaginismus, and I’m free from it!

So, let's explore some possible options:

Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy: Working with a trained physical therapist can help you learn relaxation techniques, stretches, and exercises to release tension in your pelvic floor muscles. It's like giving your pelvic floor a little spa day!

Counselling or Therapy: Talking to a qualified therapist can help address any underlying psychological or emotional factors that might be contributing to vaginismus. They can guide you through cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and mindfulness techniques that can make a real difference.

Gradual Desensitization: Using vaginal dilators or similar devices, with guidance from a healthcare professional, can help your body get more comfortable and gradually overcome the fear of penetration. It's all about taking things at your own pace.

Communication and Education: It's essential to have open conversations with your partners.s about your concerns and fears. Seeking accurate information about sexual health and pleasure can also dispel myths and ease anxiety. Remember, knowledge is power!


Remember, experiencing pain during sex is something you don't have to endure silently or alone. Vaginismus is a common condition, and effective treatments are available to help you reclaim your sexual well-being. By contacting healthcare professionals and therapists/counsellors and creating a supportive environment with your partner.s, you can embark on a journey toward pain-free and fulfilling sexual experiences. You're not alone in this; remember, there's always hope for a blissful and more pleasurable future ahead!

Delphine Cartier